Happy New Year!

 

Today is the one year anniversary of Mom being relieved of her confusion and pain, leaving us to once again be embraced by the loving arms of her creator.  I miss her SO MUCH!  Yes I still experience sadness and even question whether my grief has yet risen to the surface to be truly dealt with. My daughter is my ROCK, there to listen or to just share my sadness.  Our genetic pool has graced her with Mom's beautiful face, as well as her mischievous dimples.  She cannot deny her kinship to this amazing woman. 

Since the day we escorted Mom on her last trip to be buried by Dad, Katie has worn her wedding band, both as a reminder of the woman her grandmother was, and as a symbol of strength that she embodied.  I will forever cherish the picture Kate created to honor her beloved Gram on this day.

I also heard from my sister Kerry today, and am grateful we were texting and not on the phone, for I know I would have broken down and sobbed once again.  It then occured to me that perhaps I should revisit this blog, which was therapeutic to me when I began writing during Mom's illness. Recalling stories and events that molded me through childhood and into the adult I have become elicits a feeling of the love that never leaves us, even when a person does.  I have read that it is important to remember that the relationship lives on, through love, through stories, through FAMILY. 
For family will always continue to be...EVERYTHING.

Remembering....
Lisa <3

Greeting Cards Have all Been Sent...

Although I have stories to tell, and things to share with friends and family alike, I have found the events of this fall ( concussion, bronchitis, sinus infection, WORK) have left me short on time and energy.  Good thoughts and prayers are being kept close to my heart for all of you who touch my life, as I hope I have touched yours.

Wishing you all an Advent Season of unexpected miracles, warmth, and the reminder that love came down at Christmas.  Feliz Navidad!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!

A warm country hug to all,
Lisa <3

It's Beginning to Look a lot like....

CHRISTMAS!
As the carols have hit the airwaves and calendar days are being X'd out, counting the days til that jolly old elf decends the chimney, I am caught up in the hustle and bustle of decorating, shopping, wrapping, and planning. Between these activities I am required to go to my place of employment, which really puts a damper on the whole holiday affair.  Christmas is a SEASON, not a day. It is a FEELING, it is FAITH, it is WELCOMING.  It is also a time for remembering.  Tonight I will light a candle in remembrance of a special young man, taken from his family and friends much to early.  I will light the candle for Stevie and for all of the children who have been lost to this world too soon. I will remember the impact their short lives have had upon those they loved.

Today is World Wide Children's Remembrance Day. In countries, cities, towns, and homes across the world, candles will be lit from 7-8 PM, in one time zone after another, lighting the way of those lost to us for a full 24 hours. A show of faith and compassion, touching the heart and offering healing to those who have lost a child.
Dearest Lor...my candle will shine for you.

A warm country hug to all,
Lisa <3

Falling for Autumn

Summer 2011 was a summer of extremes for much of the world.  Hurricanes, droughts, earthquakes, heat waves, tsunamis and record rainfall to name a few.  It makes one pause to consider the 2012 predictions. Scientifically, increased storms and changing climate and weather patterns are reported to be a symptom of global warming...caused by man made sources or as natural warming patterns throughout the world. Regardless of the cause, it does seem to be happening.  In a county nearby here in PA, residents were evacuated from rising creeks and rivers three times in three weeks.  Water can be serene, or powerfully destructive.  It certainly demands deliberation over where to live these days.  It is gratifying to feel somewhat safe in the mountains...or at least it was until the VA earthquake shook us all!  I have decided to continue to find joy in every day, in home, family, God, and nature.  Living in doubt or fear is no way to live at all.

My focus now is creating the homey atmosphere that envelops you in its warmth as you cross the threshold. I am over summer and all its weather, and falling for the gift of autumn and its cooler temps and blazing colors. 
Each season casts a spell of its own, but for me, fall into Christmas is my time to embrace nature and enhance my home with country accents, indoors and out.
Here's hoping you also fall for autumn!
A warm country hug to all,
Lisa <3

GOODNIGHT Irene

Winds over 50mph
5+ inches of rain
Power out 17 hours
Flooded roads and basements
First day of school CANCELLED!
And finally....Irene departing Pennsylvania.....

GOING....GOING...GOING...

GONE!!!
A warm country hug to all,
Lisa <3

The Hurricane Cometh

Clearing the deck and battening down the hatches....Irene is on her way! More to come.....

The END

Today marks the last day of summer vacation for teachers in my district.  I have absolutely NO IDEA where those carefree days went. Too few gone too soon. A brief 24 hour visit to my daughter Sunday was the bittersweet end to road trips and time away from the everyday of home.  As the university she works for ( and who I believe is LUCKY to have her!) returned to classes yesterday, the norm of schedules and intellectual pursuits begin. And so does FOOTBALL!  My husband, as I write, is experiencing his first scrimmage of the year, determined to find success on the gridiron that has eluded his group of freshman of late.
Tomorrow I will be back in my normal routine, and once again don the watch I refused to wear for the lazy days of summer.  I will pack my lunch like I did as a student, and thankfully drive to school in the warm rays of the rising sun. That too shall end.
Here's to new beginnings, to fall, to football, and to the students who are the critical factors in stories to be told for years to come.
A warm country hug to all,
Lisa <3

The Short List

As the summer begins winding down, my long list of activities, chores, projects and trips meant to fill the short 2 months has barely been touched.  I have spent the past two rainy days painting trim in my kitchen, knowing full well it will remain half painted for the holidays if I do not complete it by Labor Day weekend. Of course, school begins even before that date, so this is a luxury to sit for a few minutes and get myself back in blog mode.
I think my list of what I didn't accomplish is longer than what I was able to actually scratch off that list.  The funny thing is...I don't care!!  I slept in, stayed up late, didn't wear a watch all summer, spent most days barefoot in the garden and by the pool, and it was well worth NOT getting through my list.
I say YAY for me!  Life is short, and sticking to my short list of relaxing time with family and friends trumps all those projects any day!
Enjoy the last dog days of summer, I know I will!

A warm country hug to all,
Lisa <3

Technical Difficulties

It has been a summer of technical difficulties, and I am currently without a reliable internet signal.  This has been an ongoing issue but I hope to be up and running again when school starts.  Sadly, that day is right around the corner. I found my first fall leaf, in all its red and yellow glory, in the backyard today. 

It both saddened and gave me joy, as fall is truly a spectacular season when you are tucked amidst mountains and trees.  Thank you for your patience and warm thoughts.
I'll be BACK!
A warm country hug to all,
Lisa <3 

Amish Country

As little tykes, my kids loved family trips to Lancaster County, Pennsylvania to not only visit the Amish but to throw themselves wholeheartedly into their lifestyle.  Of course, at seven, adopting the Amish lifestyle for my daughter meant wearing a bonnet with her t-shirt, sneakers, and shorts, and taking a buggy ride behind a somewhat aromatic equine. Not the traditional garb of this religious sect, but her excitement was palpable, and she was a sponge soaking up the local color and customs.  My son, on the other hand, was topped off with a railroad workers cap, as his love of the country was tied to the railroad in Strasburg.

My husband and I returned to our idyllic vacation spot alone recently, to find the area has been built up considerably, catering to tourists, some who seem to view the Amish lifestyle like a foreign venue at Epcot Center.  These are real people with real beliefs and real customs, not teens and college students hired to portray someone at a theme park. I really think people tend to forget this fact.  Personally, I will not take pictures or interfere in any way with the daily activities of this sect, which caused me to react with surprise when an Amish woman driving a buggy waved to me when I stopped to let her pass.
Regardless, it remains a beautiful area, and for the country nuts like myself, the shopping couldn't be more rewarding! 
A warm country hug to all,
Lisa <3

Lighten UP!

The sun is a little brighter today, and my step is a little lighter.  I spent some time on my first day away from school to walk around my yard and "just smell the roses", although roses are one type of plant of which I am not a fan. They are beautiful, I concede, but the scent is too much for me and there is a formality to the blooms that do not fit into my lifestyle.

Easy, beezy, and yes, beautiful... is my goal for turning my winter dreary home into my summer oasis. Plant by plant the conception I have of a calm summer retreat takes shape, first in my mind and then in dirt and furniture arrangements.  The serene blue pool, trickling bird baths, colorful plants, palms and ferns swaying in the breeze...HEAVEN!
The only place I find greater serenity is at the BEACH, where I can leave the daily tasks that must be done to upkeep my little home oasis ...well, at home!
My deck is now nearly transformed into a place I intend to spend the majority of my summer in peace, both reading and writing, thinking and praying, enjoying private time as well as time with family and friends. 
It's time to kick back and lighten up.
Ahhh SUMMERRRRRR!
A warm country hug to all,
Lisa <3

School's OUT for Summer!

STRUGGLING

My posts of late have gone from slim to none...and I apologize to my faithful readers who look to me for some funny anecdote or an inspirational story that is worth their time reading.  Truth is, between end of the year activities, changes in Mom's care, some issues with other loved ones, and a complete lack of inspiration due to all I have mentioned, I have stopped pressuring myself and refused to feel guilty for not posting daily as I have in the past. But I miss it.
There are many days that life gets to you, and tried and true ways of relieving stress come to the rescue. Sometimes, though, the rut one is in becomes a real depression....and it takes more than blogging to set my corner of the world right again.  There are just times where I realize that these days have all melded into YEARS of caring for Mom and her situation at the nursing home. That is not meant to be read as a complaint, just an observation of the reality.  Either way it has become a struggle.
Struggling to get up for school in the morning, struggling to make myself exercise and eat right, struggling to make the world right for students who have found it to be so wrong for them, struggling to be there for others when I feel no one is here for me, compounded by struggling to make myself take that daily walk through fumes from urine and excrement, and face the lined, sad faces of those forgotten by their loved ones.  Recently it's all been a struggle.
My woe-is-me, self-pity-party has me realizing I am facing some depression right now and need to step up and out in taking care of MYSELF for a change. This is one of the hardest things a mother and caregiver has to do. We are not wired to put ourselves first or take time from others to fulfill our own needs. BUT, it is much needed.  A necessity of life that can, for me, no longer be ignored.  Truth is, Mom could live to be 93 as did her own mother.  She is now 82.  I don't want to look back on the time I had with her and regret NOT seeing her frequently. I also don't want to look back at years of my own life lost to the oblivion of Alzheimer's that Mom is now facing....hers OR mine... should that be my life sentence.
For now, I am praying I reach June 17th with an element of style, compassion for my students, and a few marbles still intact.
I need summer. I have a book to write and a beach to visit.
A warm country hug to all,
Lisa <3

Time Flies

As the school year winds down I find myself short on time to do the things I WANT to do, in favor of doing things I HAVE to do.  Not that the "have tos" are things I dislike. Picnics, parties, awards ceremonies. Tragically they all come with extra calories in the form of celebratory foods that have caused me to "find" about 7 pounds I thought I had misplaced back in the fall!
I have a student who struggles with never having enough time to complete the things that are important, surprisingly... including school work. We have put our heads together to find a workable solution to the fact that sometimes time just FLIES. It is a hard concept for a child living within the autism spectrum, but something that we are managing none the less.

Today I am the one who is struggling with the fact that time does indeed fly, and always when we need it most.  It also flies when you aren't looking and find a school year nearly behind you.
Sadly, I already anticipate summer vacation flying even faster, but for now will do my best to live in the moment and enjoy each passing minute.
I hope you do too.


A warm country hug to all,
Lisa <3

A Special Day

Today was our county's Special Olympics event.  The day initially threatened rain, with a fine mist and drizzle making the stadium bleachers slick and too wet to sit on.  It could not, however, dampen the spirits of the contestants and buddies who came to celebrate life, or the winning spirits of so many kids who...from many people's standards...had been cheated in life.
The group of excited, smiling, and dedicated special athletes demonstrated so much more class and passion for their scheduled track and field events than I have seen among many in the general high school population in some time.  The truth is, these kids have not been cheated. They have embraced their challenges, they have overcome so many obstacles, and they have won hearts and loyalty from so many volunteers. 
They are loved. It is something of a mirror image love, reflecting back to them as they shine on all of us. Their hearts are pure. No animosity, no jealousy, no bitterness. So many demonstrate an unequivocally, unconditional love we know only for our children, or receive from our pets.  Watching a young man sprint for 50 yards, struggling before reaching the finish line, only to find a burst of energy to cross victorious, and fling himself into his mother's arms was heartwarming.
There were many moments of blurred vision as my eyes teared at the accomplishments and pride shown by these hardworking young men and women.  The entire crowd celebrated with each success, devoted entirely to making the day both memorable and fulfilling.
I know it was for me.
A warm country hug to all,
Lisa <3

I Voted

ELECTION DAY....
    Exercising my right to VOTE!

A warm AMERICAN country hug to all,

Lisa <3

Three Mondays

My sanity is SCREAMING for summer...no more 5AM wake ups, no more rushed 20 minute lunches where I am LATE if I actually chew.  My head is DREAMING of poolside lounging, gardening at my leisure, and going out for ice cream. My heart is ACHING for time to read, spending time with my lonely pets, and actually seeing the man I married.
A sense of completion and certainly of relief will envelop me in a few longggg weeks, when I am able to say goodbye to students for the summer.  Remaining are three Mondays, five Tuesdays, five Wednesdays, five Thursdays, and four Fridays if my count down to summer is correct.  The weeks will undoubtedly fly by as the individual days drag on.  I love my kids...don't get me wrong...but this millennium's added responsibilities and standardized stress create a need for the summer break I remember being paramount in my choice of teaching as a profession!

I most obviously have "senioritis" right along with our graduating class.  I think I do every year, even when I worked at the intermediate and middle school levels.  The difference is, the seniors are leaving for good, heading out into a world we can only hope we have adequately prepared them for in this era of joblessness and economic uncertainty. My heart bleeds for those who face the prospect of unemployment, the improbability of being able to leave home soon, or the lack of funds for spiraling college education costs. Our governor has personally destroyed the hopes of many hoping/praying/desiring to further their education.  My own two master's candidates will be paying for the privilege for years to come.
Regardless of future prospects, we ARE all ready for there to be only thee more Mondays....and a whole lot of summer!
A warm country hug to all,
Lisa <3

Get Your Grow On

Warm weather has finally broken the 70 degree barrier, and with Mother's Day weekend over, it is time to plant and get things growing.  Mt goal for the summer...to create my own little oasis in the backyard that I can retreat to whenever life gets me down, or just because school will be out and I CAN!  With so much to do I plan to enlist my daughter, who has a wealth of good ideas and jumps on my bandwagon with a hearty, "Do it!"
This weekend she is coloring her apartment balcony with flowers, pretty pots, and cozy candle lanterns to create her own little piece of heavenly privacy in a complex filled with hundreds of people.  At most, it may be 40 square feet, so when her ideas and energy become to big for her space, I will happily scoop up the excitement that remains and use her creativity and muscles for my own masterpiece.  Devious? Maybe, but we will both enjoy it immensely and then be able to sit back and revel in our accomplishments.

Today's drizzle and rain checks only on mulch at the home improvement chain allowed me to do very little to get my oasis started.  Some impatiens and coleus made it either into the ground or a pot, along with already blooming geraniums and spike plants.
It's a start. The Black Eyed Susan's I want to add in honor of my mom Susan will have to wait a few weeks until they reach the plant stands.
There is also a small pond..no fish...in the game plan that my husband is trying his best to nix.  How complicated can a pond with only water and rocks be to care for?!  I tend to see adding flower beds, expanding areas of mulch, and yes adding ponds as LESS work ( AKA mowing) for my hubby.  He just doesn't see it that way.
As the next few days bring rain and wash the pollen from the air, trees, and my burgundy-turned-green car, I will sit back and dream up some idyllic elements to the retreat I want to build.  Like most projects, it will be ongoing, but I still plan to steal some moments to kick back and relax. To enjoy the scenery and my labor of love.
A warm country hug to all,
Lisa <3

Roadtrip

Mother + Daughter + BEACH = One great Mother's Day Weekend!

The best gift ever is time spent with those we love.

A warm country hug to all,

Lisa <3

I Did Something Right

I have done many things in my lifetime.  I have shot game winning baskets playing BBall. I have received awards. I have sung solos. I have helped the needy. I have planted gardens. I have run miles. I have prayed and reflected and wondered at this world.
The BEST thing I have ever done, however, is to bring two very wonderful children into this world. Two little miracles, who taught me how to be a mother.  There was no instruction book. Just the tug of tiny fisted hands on my heart strings that helped me to instinctively know what and how and when to do things.

My two little miracles are now young adults making an impact on this world. With hopes, and dreams, and helping hands that once held mine so tightly.
They grew by leaps and bounds, through scraped knees, first days of school, and college graduations... into who they are today.
I am blessed to not only love my kids, but to also LIKE them, and find that friendship is now central to our relationship.
Here's to the children. Our own flesh and blood, or those chosen by love through adoption, who allow us the honor of being called Mom, Mommy, and Mum.
Here's to our little miracles.
Here's to mothers everywhere.
A warm country hug to all,
Lisa <3